For Kids Only (and big kids like yours truly)

My friend Royda sent me this site a few days ago, and I didn’t want to delay any longer in getting it posted so that parents have plenty of time to look it over and their children can enjoy it. It’s a great holiday site for kids celebrating Santa’s big night with lots of activities they can do with their parents or by themselves.

And, most important of all, there is a link to NORAD’s Santa Tracker. It’s a lot of fun to watch the progress of St. Nick as he travels around the world delivering presents to homes across the globe.

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Posted in Holidays | 1 Comment

Library

Although, for the most part, I was a good kid in school, I did get my share of detentions. Sometimes the teacher who gave you detention was not going to be able to stay after school to preside over it, so they would have you serve your detention in the school library and let the librarian act as your “jailer.”

Most kids would sleep, or write notes or even sneak out the first time the librarian turned her head, but I always felt a little different about it. It was not surprising to find me in the library before school, during the day and sometimes after school anyway, so being “sentenced” to serve detention in one of my favorite places was more of a pleasure than a punishment. How could it be otherwise when you were in a room filled with books, each one waiting to take you to another world, inform you and teach you or entertain you?

Today, the Internet functions as a sort of world-wide library, providing access to much more than my school libraries ever did. I use it extensively. But there is still something about walking into a library that, don’t laugh now, causes a tingle inside me, just like it did the very first time I entered one and saw the possibilities before me.

An unending room full of books containing entertainment and information would be, if I believed in such a thing, heaven to me.

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Note To Self

Do not, I repeat do not, come in from the wind, snow and ice when you haven’t been wearing gloves on your hands and attempt to do the necessary actions with those hands that allow you to make use of the men’s room urinal.

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Posted in Humor, Personal | 3 Comments

Duck!

While more amusing than dangerous, the Iraqi journalist throwing his shoes at President Bush during a press conference in Iraq yesterday highlights two points:

1. The President’s Secret Service detail was woefully slow in responding to a threat to the President. I mean, come on, the guy had time to remove and throw two shoes, one at a time, at the President’s head.

2. Bush himself continues to remain ignorant of how insulting it is in the Iraqi culture to have a shoe thrown at you with his response; “So what if a guy threw his shoe at me? I’m not insulted.”

A classic Alfred E. Neuman “What, me worry?” response.

January 20th CAN’T get here soon enough.

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Posted in Politics | 2 Comments

Mark Twain Missouri

Missouri has been home to many famous people; Harry S. Truman, T.S. Eliot, Walter Cronkite, Dick Van Dyke and, one of my favorites, Samuel Langhorne Clemens.

Samuel Langhorne Clemens, better known to the world by his pen name Mark Twain, was born in Florida, Missouri in 1835. When he was 4 his family moved to Hannibal, a Mississippi river town that became the basis for St. Petersburg in his books, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.

It’s obvious that the “Show Me” state is proud of their native son. There is a Mark Twain National Forest and it is not just one continuous collection of woodlands, but is spread out in patches across the state. There are countless roads bearing his name, as well as a riverboat and various buildings. Even a shopping mall. I’m not sure how receptive he would be to THAT particular honor.

I remember when I was in the 10th grade my American Literature teacher, Mr. Williams, had us read The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County. I had of course, by that point in my life, already read The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, but I found Calaveras County to be particularly humorous and enjoyable. After that, I had to find and read other Twain classics such as A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court, Roughing It, and A Tramp Abroad.

I had hoped to visit Hannibal while in Missouri, but the closest I have been able to get is within one hour of it. It does not appear that my remaining time here will allow me to visit his childhood home on this trip. Maybe another time.

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Posted in Books, Missouri, Writing | Comments Off on Mark Twain Missouri

Home In A Week

Next Saturday morning I’ll fly home to Florida for the holiday, so this is my last weekend in Missouri for the foreseeable future. My non-stop flight leaves St. Louis at 8am local time and arrives in Orlando at 11:20am local time. I was fortunate enough to get an exit-row window seat assignment so at least I won’t be sitting with my knees on my chin for 2 1/2 hours.

Rather than drive 2 hours from Jefferson City early on Saturday morning, I’m going to check out of my Jefferson City hotel on Friday morning and after signing out of the office, a drawn out action that involves returning multiple pieces of equipment and getting various signatures on sign-out forms, then drive 2 hours to St. Louis. I’ll drop my bags off at the hotel there, then take my rental car to the off-property lot, use their shuttle to go to the airport and then use the hotel’s shuttle to get from the airport to the hotel. That way Saturday morning I can simply take the hotel shuttle to the airport between 5:30 and 6:00am, have plenty of time to get myself and my baggage checked in and perhaps grab a quick bite to eat for breakfast.

We’ll have a busy few days up to and including Christmas, but it will be nice to be home for the holiday.

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Posted in Missouri, Personal | 1 Comment

Folding Chair In The Men’s Room

The men’s room sits less than 10 feet from my office area and the door is in a direct line of sight from my desk. I just watched a guy walk in there carrying a folding chair. I hope, really hope, that he’s using it to stand on in order to reach something up high because any other thought of what he might be using it for is just creeping me out.

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Posted in Missouri, Personal | 1 Comment

Satisfying An Addiction

Listen, I have all sorts of faults, shortcomings, obsessions, idiosyncrasies and quirks, but I’m so glad I don’t have an addiction that requires me to go out in the cold and wind and rain or snow several times a day to satisfy that addiction. I count myself fortunate in that respect.

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Posted in Personal | 2 Comments

TNT’s “Leverage”

I’m enjoying the new TNT series “Leverage”, which stars the talented Timothy Hutton. It has the feel of the “Oceans” movies; the “Mission Impossible” TV series and movies, and especially an old favorite from my early adult years; “Switch”, in which an ex-cop, played by Eddie Albert and a reformed con man, played by Robert Wagner, team up to open a detective agency. They were often assisted by their secretary, played by Sharon Gless, who went on to fame in “Cagney and Lacey.”

I always love it when the bad guys get conned and get what’s coming to them, lol.

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Posted in TV | 2 Comments

Get A Freelance Life

As you can see from my “What I’m Reading” spot over on the right column, I’m currently reading “Get A Freelance Life” and as someone who has read quite a few books on the subject,I have to say this is an absolute best in class.

This is one of the most honest, straightforward and complete books about being a freelance writer on the shelves. It’s a book that will benefit not only a person new to the field, but serve as a refresher for veterans. Every “nut and bolt” is covered, from getting an assignment to research to writing to editing and working with editors to payment to common terms and phrases to record-keeping.

There’s no “pie on the sky” fluff in this book. It lays everything out in plain English and where it must use some industry term it fully explains that term.

If, like me, you have an interest in working toward a freelance writing career, this book should be your very first investment in that career.

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Posted in Books, Writing | Comments Off on Get A Freelance Life

Freezing Rain Or Snow?

After having experienced freezing rain and snow while here in Missouri, I have decided that freezing rain is much more uncomfortable than snow. That stuff seems to “soak” right through to your bones with its icy cold fingers. Brrrr!!

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Look It Up!

Somehow (actually I know “how”; it’s because I try to be helpful when I first arrive on the scene) I always become the walking dictionary in our offices. “Jeff, how do you spell _____?”, “What does ________ mean, Jeff?” or “Am I using this word correctly in this sentence, Jeff?”

I’ve got to learn to keep my mouth shut AND beat back my small obsession with correct spelling and grammar by NOT pointing out errors. It’s getting a little easier as I get older, but it’s a difficult obsession to overcome. UPDATE: I saw TWO mistakes this afternoon and didn’t say anything about either one!

“…however, sense the period of time between Thanksgiving and the Christmas holidays is only 21 days…”

“For many of us this information is a mute point.”

Look, it’s not like I’m a genius and that I have the biggest brain in existence, in fact that is far from it; it’s simply that at some point in the past I LOOKED IT UP or, if I don’t know the answer off the top of my head when I’m asked then I LOOK IT UP. These days, with information at your fingertips on the Internet, it’s easier than ever.

When I was a kid (oh no, one of those “In my day” stories!) I had to use actual printed and bound dictionaries or encyclopedias to find my answers. I remember when I was a child that some friends of my parents were astounded because, in the course of reading a book while visiting their house, I asked if they had a dictionary I could borrow. When the hostess asked me why and I explained that I had come across a word in the book I was reading that I did not know the meaning of and so I wanted to look it up, you would have thought I had sprouted another head or began reciting Einstein’s Theory of relativity… in French. She was completely dumbfounded by the thought that a child would willingly want to educate himself. My biggest concern was that I wasn’t at home where I knew I had a dictionary on my shelf; I was afraid they might not have one I could use and I’d be ignorant about that word until I arrived back home. Fortunately, they did.

But my point is that today, you can walk up to any Internet accessible computer and look up the answer you need in seconds. You say,“How can I look up a word I don’t know how to spell?” but even if you misspell the word, Google and Dictionary.com and most other search engine or information sites will give you several variations of correctly spelled words to help you narrow down your search.

So, look it up. It’s easy as pi. Errr…pie.

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Posted in Personal | 3 Comments

By Grabthar’s Hammer

Sunday, one of the local stations here aired “Galaxy Quest” and even though I have a much-watched DVD at home, I still had to delay my planned trip to the grocery store so I could watch it again.

“Galaxy Quest”, released in 1999, is an excellent satirical poke at sci-fi TV series and fans/conventions in general, and, my favorite, “Star Trek” in particular.

Tim Allen (not an actor I normally care to watch perform), is dead on as the William Shatner/Capt. Kirk actor/character we’ve all come to know and love, while Alan Rickman superbly fills the role of Leonard Nimoy/Mr. Spock, especially with his complaints that Allen always stole the best scenes and lines for himself and his dry observation to Allen’s character that, “You finally got your shirt off” after a very real fight scene on an alien planet.

But it is Rickman’s well-played disdain for his character’s oft-repeated quote, “By Grabthar’s hammer, by the sons of Worvan, you shall be avenged.” that always makes me laugh. The total boredom he displays (in all but one very pivotal scene) each time he is forced by fans to repeat it is reminiscent of the viral-marketing like effect of Spock’s “Live long and prosper” line, without the spread-finger hand gesture.

Sigourney Weaver (in an eye-popping, popping-out-of uniform), Tony Shalhoub (best known as “Monk”), Sam Rockwell and Daryl Mitchell round out the famous command crew of the fictional NSEA Protector, while Enrico Colentoni is hilariously funny as Mathesar, the leader of the alien Thermians who mistakenly think that the washed-up actors of the canceled TV series are real space-faring warriors.

If you haven’t ever watched the movie, you should correct that deficiency in your experience as soon as possible. If you’ve seen it before, it’s always good to do it again.

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Posted in Humor, Movies, Science Fiction | 1 Comment

In MY House We Say…

This blog post had me laughing all day.

Note: Do not read if vulgar language or the putting-in-place of a “holier than thou” person offends you. Seriously. I’m laughing, but I mean it, seriously.

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Posted in Holidays, Humor | 1 Comment

The So-Called “Service” Industry

This is one reason why people in the fast food business are made fun of all the time.

I step up to the counter at “Gray Meat Royale” (think about it) to give the girl behind it my order.

“I’d like a #10, large with onion rings for here.”

Girl pushes buttons on the register.

“Would you like French fries?”

“No, onion rings.”

Girl pushes buttons on the register.

“And that was to go?”

“No, as I said when I ordered, it’s for here.”

Girl pushes buttons on the register.

“That will be $10.73”

“No, I don’t think so.”

Girl stops pushing buttons on the register.

“What?”

“Unless your price has gone up substantially above what is posted on the menu (I point to the menu board behind her) that can’t be right.”

“What was your order?”

“A #10, large with onion rings for here.”

“Oh, I thought you said #13.”

Girl pushes buttons on the register.

“There’s no #13 on the menu board.”

“We have one on the register and I thought that’s what you asked for.”

Girl pushes buttons on the register.

“Well, since it’s not on the board and I can’t see your register, that would be a difficult order for me to place. So no, I did not ask for a #13, I asked for a #10.”

Girl pushes buttons on the register.

“Ok, no problem. Did you want fries with that?”

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Posted in Personal | 2 Comments

Touring The St. Louis Arch

No sleeping in this past Saturday. Instead I got up, showered and was on the road by 6:15, driving a little over 2 hours to St. Louis. Fortunately, the roads were fairly clear of ice and snow and there was none falling during my drive.

It was an enjoyable visit. For those who have never been, the entire arch operation, including the entrance to the trams, the “Westward Expansion Museum”, the various theaters, gift shops and stores are all underground, beneath the arch itself. Before heading down there, I took several outdoor shots from the city-side of the arch.

The trams are actually little egg-shaped cars that transport you up through the arch curves to the top in about 3 or 4 minutes. The cars are small with 5 seats (you cannot stand, that’s how short they are), though I don’t see how 5 adults could ever sit together in the small space. On my ride up I was alone. On the trip back down I was seated with a father and his young son and we were cramped.

At the top there’s not much else to do but lean over to the small window-slits that are angled downward and take photos of the city side and the river side. I was finished getting all the shots I wanted in about 15 minutes.

When I returned to the base I walked through the museum while waiting for the start time of the movie “How The Monument Was Made.” The museum is laid out in a circle with concentric rings within it, depicting the history of Missouri and it’s role as the gateway to the expansion of the United States to the west.

By far, I enjoyed the “How The Monument Was Made” film most. What an engineering marvel and accomplishment it was to design and build the St. Louis Arch, also known as the Gateway to the West. The arch is an integral part of the Jefferson National Expansion Memorial, which is operated by the National Park Service.

Here are some interesting facts about the arch:

The Arch is the tallest national monument in the United States at 630 feet.

Construction began February 12, 1963 and the last section (the very middle at the apex) of the Arch was put into place on October 28, 1965.

The span of the Arch legs at ground level is 630 feet, the same as its height.

Each year, approximately a million visitors ride the trams to the top of the Arch. The trams have been in operation for over 30 years, traveling a total of 250,000 miles and carrying over 25 million passengers.

The Arch weighs 17,246 tons. Nine hundred tons of stainless steel was used to build the Arch, more than any other project in history.

The Arch was built at a cost of $13 million. The transportation system was built at a cost of $3,500,000.

In order to ensure that the constructed legs would meet, the margin of error for failure was 1/64th of an inch. All survey work was done at night to eliminate distortion caused by the sun’s rays. Since the Arch was constructed before the advent of computer technology, relatively crude instruments were used for these measurements.

The Arch sways a maximum of 18″ (9″ each way) in a 150 mph wind. The usual sway is 1/2″.

After browsing through the gift shop for some souvenir ideas, I went to see the film about Lewis & Clark. Though I was never a big history buff in school, I was always entranced by the story of these intrepid pioneers and am fairly familiar with the history of their expedition. Their famous expedition into the unknown western part of the continent in their day was the equivalent of our first manned expedition to the moon in 1969. The film was entertaining and I actually did learn one thing I did not know before.

At the conclusion of the film it was back to the gift shop to get some souvenirs and postcards. Then back outside to the cold and wind so I could take some shots from the river-side of the arch. I ended up leaving around 1pm for the drive back to Jefferson City. Cold and tired, but glad that I had taken the trip and made the visit to one of America’s most famous national monuments.

My photos are here.

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Posted in Missouri, Photography | 2 Comments

Don’t Try And Confuse Me With Facts

It’s always interesting when you’re having a discussion with someone about a subject and they refuse to acknowledge their error when you present them with the facts.

“Well, I’m going to believe what I believe.” or “Don’t do that. Don’t tell me facts when I know what I think.” are responses that simply amaze me.

Ummm, Ok. Carry on in your self-induced ignorance.

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Jefferson City Living Windows

Friday night I went to downtown Jefferson City for the Living Windows holiday event, an annual celebration that involves the downtown merchants and retailers providing live, holiday-based entertainment in their storefront windows or on the street in front of their store or business.

Other than freezing (I was wearing light casual pants, since I came straight from the office after work, but even with my heavy jacket and gloves my body was cold and my fingers were numb), it was enjoyable and I was able to get a few good photos. In addition to the Living Windows shots, I was able to get one of the State capitol building at night.

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Posted in Holidays, Missouri, Photography | Comments Off on Jefferson City Living Windows

The Facebook/YouTube Virus

Just a heads up to those of you who are on Facebook (and MySpace, I’m told) to be careful of any messages supposedly from friends encouraging you to check out a video on YouTube, especially if it’s touted as being of you.

I received such a message from one of my friends, except of course it wasn’t. Like the writer in the article linked above, I was reasonably sure her English skills were much better than the subject line of the message would indicate, so I deleted the message. Good thing, because it turned out to be the Koobface worm.

Later someone replied (to all) asking what the video was and someone else quickly informed him it was probably a virus.

Today I received an email from the friend (really her) warning anyone who received the message from “her” NOT to click on the link. Unfortunately she was having to send her warning from a different computer because the virus had (until that point) defied attempts by three different anti-virus programs she had installed on her usual laptop to eradicate it.

So, as always, be vigilant about messages, chats and e-mails, even if they appear to be coming from your friends.

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Posted in Technology | Comments Off on The Facebook/YouTube Virus

Working On Social Skills

My daughter e-mailed me on Thursday that my grandson, Mikey, had finally agreed to upgrade his Yahoo Messenger chat program and that I should log on and chat with him. So when I returned to the hotel room after work, I logged on and initiated a chat session with him.

Now, it’s important to know that Mikey’s Asperger’s seems to be responsible for contributing to his being very obsessive about computers. He always has computers and operating systems, especially Windows, on his mind and can talk to you non-stop for hours about which OS version is better and the various dialog boxes you can find by committing errors. He’s only 7, for goodness sake, and he knows more about the subject than a lot of adults and it was all self-taught. As with a lot of Asperger folks, social skills are something that always require a little extra attention since it’s an area of difficulty for them to integrate into their thinking and lives.

So I really shouldn’t have been surprised by the beginning of our chat session, which I screen-captured and altered for privacy concerns below, when I started to chat with him.

My little buddy keeps me smiling. I miss him, and his sister, all the time when I’m on the road.

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Posted in Mikey | 2 Comments