The Word Of Jeff

So as much as I wanted to just hermit myself in the hotel room Sunday I just couldn’t see spending the entire day holed up like a prisoner.

To begin with, I woke up earlier than I intended because of a nightmare. Something is going on with that and I’m not quite sure what it is, but I have a theory.

I don’t usually have nightmares. Dreams yes, nightmares, no. My dreams are almost always very realistic, and unfortunately so are my nightmares. Still, as I said, I don’t usually have nightmares. But for the first time in years I had one while I was in Missouri last November and now this one Sunday morning. Like the one in Missouri, this one was so painful that I woke up crying uncontrollably, just as I had been doing in the nightmare itself because of what had happened and even in the same physical position; huddled in a ball on my knees, my body racked with pain from crying so hard I could not get my breath. This was the kind of crying that physically hurts you inside with its intensity, like your guts are being twisted. The kind that comes from a total despair that you think you will never recover from for the rest of your life. I don’t recommend it as a way to be awakened.

My theory, though totally unsubstantiated by ANY professional psychologist, is that it has to do with a story idea I’ve been working on in bits and pieces for several months that involves some pretty intense and gruesome scenes. I’m wondering if my mind is rebelling against what I’ve been putting it through, or if this will somehow augment the work I’m doing on a certain character in the story. Maybe I’m just not cut out to be a fiction writer because I get too involved, or at least a writer of this kind of fiction, but the story idea still feels like a good premise.

Anyway, after a shower and then breakfast at a nearby Perkins Restaurant using a 20% off coupon, I headed out for the closest Waldenbooks (which was at a mall not far from the University of Kentucky campus) to use a 25% off coupon to purchase something Cindy encouraged me to buy several months ago. But being the skinflint that I am when it comes to most things for myself, I went with the cheaper idea I had and it didn’t hold up.

I usually use a digital voice recorder to make note of ideas or things I want to be sure to remember. I love my digital recorder. But sometimes you’re in a situation where it just is not polite to use it. There are times when it is much more unobtrusive to jot a note down. I had toyed with the idea of getting some moleskine notebooks, but after finding the little pocket-sized composition book for .99 cents as opposed to $4 for the moleskine notebook in a comparable size, I opted for the cheapest item.

Mistake.

The pocket-sized composition books are just not sturdy enough to withstand the beating I give them in my typical usage. I had to tape this one back together when the glued cover and some of the pages started coming apart. I decided that it would be in my best interest to go ahead and spend the extra money for the moleskine notebooks, which have a sturdier cover and pages that are stitched in rather than glued.

But, still being the cheapskate that I am, I was reluctant to buy them in their standard 3 for $12 packet until I got this 25% off coupon and decided I could knock $3 off that price and feel better about buying them.

I’m so easily manipulated, as Cindy well knows.

Driving to the mall I passed through downtown Lexington. I had been wanting to see “The Wrestler”, but it was only showing at one theater in the area, The Kentucky Theater, and I mistakenly thought that theater was somewhere else. Driving down the main street of Lexington I passed the old theater (it still has the pointed marquee so traffic from both directions, though this is now a one-way street, can see the advertised movie) and realized I could see the movie on my way back to the hotel. And I did. Plus it was only $4.50 to see a first-run movie before 6pm, instead of the $6.50 other theaters in the area charge.

Downtown Lexington is an attractive area with a mix of old and new architecture. It was WAY too cold and windy Sunday to do a Photowalk and I was too tired anyway, but I hope that the weather gets a little warmer on one of my days off so I can get some shots before I leave.

After the movie I returned to my hotel room and, after a little reading and writing and some soup for dinner, was back in bed sleeping soundly.