The Value Of Listening Closely

An Irish girl returned home to her family after a five-year absence. When she walked through the door, her father cursed at her, “Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn’t ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old ma thru?”

The girl burst into tears and wailed, “I am sore sorry, Da! I…I became a prostitute, and I was ashamed…”

“Ye WHAT!!? Her father roared. “Out with ye, shameless harlot! Sinner! You’re a disgrace to this family!”

“Ye’r right, Da, I’ll leave. I just wanted to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten-bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for $5 million.”

“Ye what?” Her father asked, astounded.

“And this solid gold Rolex for me little brother,”
the girl continued, “…and for ye daddy, that sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible yonder, plus a membership to the country club…” she started towards the door and added, “And if ye decide someday to forgive me, I wanted to invite everyone to spend New Years’ Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera.”

“What was it ye said ye had become?”
her father asked.

“A prostitute, Da! I’m sorry.” And she opened the door to leave.

“Oh, Jesus!”
Her father exclaimed. “Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old man a hug.”

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